What if anything do Orthodox communities do for profoundly-disabled 13-year-olds (bar mitzvah or similar)? has several close votes for "primarily opinion-based", but I don't understand why. The question asks what is done in Orthodox communities to solve a problem that is addressed in ways counter to halacha in liberal communities. A comment says:
I'm sorry, but I don't feel like this can be answered adequately on this site, because this entire thought really depends on the community, rabbi, and disabled boy involved, and could vary from congregation to congregation. – ezra
But isn't that true of lots of questions that we've accepted just fine? Questions about minhagim, about practices of different communities, about how to dress, about keeping kosher in a secular environment, most of the how-to tag... all of these potentially vary by individual community, but the asker has no way to know that. We have room on our site for questions like these. What do I need to improve about this one for it to be acceptable to the community?
This shouldn't matter, but I'll tell you why I asked it. A dear friend's family has this situation. They belong to a Reform congregation and are having a heavily-modified bat-mitzvah celebration at a Shabbat service. I can see that inclusion, having an experience comparable to what the child's age cohort is having, is very important to the family. And I know that what they're doing would not fly were they part of an Orthodox congregation. As I find myself leaning heavily toward orthodoxy (I really don't belong in the Reform movement but...complicated), I wonder how I would answer the hypothetical question from this family: ok, how would your chosen community handle it?
I assumed the question is answerable because I see a lot of ahavat Yisrael and care for everyone in the community among my Orthodox friends. Sure I could go ask one of them, but we have a site for Jewish Q&A and I thought the question could benefit people other than me, so I asked it here. Was I wrong?